Computer humor to laugh away the weekend... Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk? Ultimate office automation: networked coffee. RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure. Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS... All computers wait at the same speed. Computer (n): a device used to speed and automate errors. Press -- to continue... Smash forehead on keyboard to continue... Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!!!! Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI! E-mail return to sender -- insufficient voltage. Help!! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!! All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? DOS tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981 Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN <----- The information went data way. -----> Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression upgrade (v): to take old bugs out, and put new ones in BREAKFAST.COM halted... Cereal port not responding... The name is Baud... James Baud. BUFFERS = 20 FILES = 15 2nd down, fourth quarter, 5 yards to go! Access denied - nah nah na nah nah!! C:\Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay... Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename"? As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) Backups? We don't *NEED* no steenking backups. E Pluribus Modem File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny/ A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting. CONGRESS.SYS corrupted: Reboot Washington DC? (Y/N) Does fuzzy logic tickle? A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord. 24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... coincidence? Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. SENILE.COM found... Out of Memory...